Underlying Automatic Commitment

In coaching, in life, everybody has some goals we want to achieve. There are some people who achieve them much easier than others, most of them are people who believe in themselves, and (people that) analyze their own barriers and are able to change their perspective. Anyway, most of us have some difficulties to understand why we are not able to achieve what we want or at least what we say we want.

It is said that behind thoughts are actions so if we change the order of these elements we can say that in front of an action is a thought. This idea is basic to understand by why don´t we achieve what we want to? What are the thoughts we have? Any of them are stopping us to achieve our goal? Why do we say we want something and behave in the opposite way to achieve it?

Upon answering these questions we start to understand what is an UAC. All our beliefs can create an UAC, which is a commitment that we don´t notice we have, but which is really strong and stops us from achieving what we want. Or sometimes give us the opportunity to have an excuse to not commit with to our goals, because we don´t really want to.

What is important in any case is to find out what our UAC´s are in order to know them and to have the possibility to avoid them to achieve our goals.

Commitment vs Trying

It has been almost one year now, since I started my CPCP studies. Since then I have attended some teleclasses and have started coaching peer clients. 

When I start coaching a client, the most important thing I want to know is whether they are willing to commit to their goal.  If they say “I will try to achieve my goal” there is no point to continue, nothing to do. They must commit to achieving their goal.

I suppose that some of you, readers, are thinking something like this “Oh, but I don´t know if I will achieve my goal, the only thing I can do is try.”

In this case I ask you, do you want to achieve your goal or try to? If the answer is to ACHIEVE IT, perfect you can commit to your goal. But if the answer is to try to, we will have to think why you want to try something instead of committing; we will have to discover what underlying automatic commitment is stopping you from getting to your goal.

Why is this so important? Because to try could be the same as to have an excuse, so as an example, if I don´t do any of the actions in my Coaching Plan I will have an excuse to not achieving my goal.

Think about yourself, Do you achieve your goals? If the answer is no, Do you reflect about the reasons? Do you look for solutions? Or do you accept that there is nothing to do with the goal, because you tried but didn´t get it?

Trust vs Doubt

Trust and Doubt are two opposing attitudes. Like many others, two ways to live your life, two faces of the same coin. But, do you think there are any differences between them or in the way you feel them? I am going to tell you a story, which happened some time ago.

“One of my friends was in love with a man but, as sometimes happens, they were just friends. In order to let him know how important he was to her, she decided to prepare the best present she could give him on his birthday party. She took her time to make her present look good, and every detail you can imagine, even the more simple and silly ones.

The birthday party came, she looked great that night, but she lacked confidence; she was terrified because she had her mind in a state of doubt.

She didn’t trust herself, and she spent the whole day asking herself: “What would it happen if he rejected me?”, – she didn’t like the answers she got in her mind, they made her feel sad and emotional.

As you can guess, during that party, her behaviour and body-language didn’t transmit what she really felt in her heart, she didn’t show the wonderful woman she was. Moreover, she lost the opportunity he gave her because of her doubts.

If I could turn the clock back a couple of hours before the party, be sure I would have told her not to worry, because whatever was going to happen would be ok. She had prepared a wonderful gift which everyone would have been happy to receive, and the best present she could make for herself would be feeling proud and confident of her value. I am sure that if she had gone to the party believing in herself, she would have shown the real wonderful woman she is, without letting her expectations and doubts take over herself.”

If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will do!!

Think the way you want to live

ATTITUDES TO CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Most of times people behave with a victim’s attitude more than an hero’s attitude.

However, to create the life we would like to live if is essential to behave like an HERO. The Hero of your Life.

To know the opposite attitude to the Hero´s one, give us the possibility to change our perspective and get benefits.

Apart from now you could read in this blog some posts about these attitudes, which are known as “Power Tools” in the International Coach Academy (ICA)

Some of these are:

It will continue……….